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Words: Chris
Pics: Dean Teml

NZ’s Hard Man
Why it hasn’t been done before, we don’t know – but DRD profiles one of the hottest prospects to make it out of New Zealand since Paul Whibley – Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce to you, a Mr Christopher Birch.

8:04am Sunday morning, my alarm is bleating, the missus is snoring and I’m meant to be getting up and going for a ride up the Neavesville. I had previously raced the day before and am not waking up in my usual peak performance zone. I peel the blinds back to reveal dark clouds and drizzle as far as the eyes could see. I quickly grab my bat phone and fire away a quick TXT, something along the lines of, ‘there is a fair bit ’o precipitation loomin’ round da ’Mandle, we still doin’ dis???’ Within seconds I hear the chirp of the Blackberry and find the words, ‘are we men or mice?’ across the screen. In the interest of self-confidence, I convince myself and explained that I was only checking to make sure those from Auckland hadn’t nannered out. I then slowly got out of bed, packed the van, and headed over to an inevitably wet, hard day, up the Neavesville.

Born To Ride
Chris Birch is usually a quiet sort of a chap – nine times out of ten he will let his riding do the talking. Born and raised in the Scottish homeland of, well Scotland, like a lot of motorcyclists around the world, it was in his DNA. His old man has ridden for ever too, which is of course was where the DNA transfer has come from, having done an ISDE and a Scottish 6 Day Trial back in his day. His mother even rides, she has three bikes at the moment; one for doing Trials, one for the odd cross country event and also a Kawasaki adventure bike she hoons around, though her number one ride is her horses. So it was inevitable Birchy would be riding something when he grew up, it was just going to be 50/50. Caning around local soccer fields on a PW50 was Birchy’s introduction to motorcycles and horses never became an issue.

The Birch family moved over to New Zealand when Chris was around six years old. The Decision to move to NZ was an easy one, “It’s a much better place than Scotland” Birchy explains. “You can do way more things here and it suited my parents and the lifestyle they wanted I think – and houses were cheap as chips back then.” The Birch family settled down in the capital which was great for Trials, as Birchy’s next bike was a Yamaha TY50. A few years later, the family migrated a little further north, up to Waimauku, 30 minutes north of Auckland City – which is where the parents still live today. “It’s not a bad spot up there. It’s eight minutes ride to Riverhead forest and 12 to Woodhill forest. So it was pretty handy and was a good reason why I ended up playing in the bush I think.” And so began our chatter that lasted most of our four-hour, 60km play around the Neavesville.

Trials to Enduro
As we take off from the van Chris rides a brand new KTM300EXC-E and with his Mate Rob on a KTM250EXC-F and me on the bosses WR250 (purely for the electric start), I wonder when he started doing the bike thing for serious? Chris first started competing on the TY at about the age of 9. Though he was always going to the Trials events with his dad even before that, as he was a regular competitor at club level. He progressed his way up the Trials rankings, winning the clubman then intermediate NZ titles. In the Expert B, he was in the top three battling for the podiums, before getting sick of it and looking for something else. “It was a love-hate relationship where I loved the nationals rounds. They were really good and challenging and different and exciting. But the club Trials in and around Auckland were pretty average. Being a bit short on decent terrain and with no rocks, the rivers were just muddy ditches and it doesn’t leave you wanting more. I found I was going to the same venues, doing the same thing week in-week out. And it was time for a change. The organisers were doing the best they could with what they had. It’s just a shame there wasn’t some good terrain available like they have down south.” Birchy also had a little Honda XR200 stashed away in the shed as well, and after more and more time in the saddle, decided he was having more fun riding that than doing the Trials. And so the crossover began and Birchy started doing trail rides and enduros and took an instant liking to going fast.

Green to Orange
After he got too good for the XR’s ability, he moved to a Kawasaki KDX200 where he took his first expert under 200cc two-stroke class win, followed by the class championship. As we all know, a KDX, like the XR can only take you so far, so the natural progression was to a KX250. Birchy won a few Expert over 200cc two-stroke titles before finally getting the big one. Beating none other than Paul Whibley, Birchy took the class win and the overall New Zealand Enduro Title at the tender age of 21. He has just celebrated his fifth overall win, this time with KTM and he doesn’t look to slow down any time soon. “Kawasaki and me had a long relationship, they were good to me over the years. But there is only so far you can modify MX bikes to make them good bush weapons. This is what pretty much triggered the move really – wanting to race in Australia and elsewhere. The problem was sorting out lights and stands and noise just to go overseas. It’s a lot of work converting an MX bike into a serious enduro weapon and it’s never quite the same no matter what you do. Basically, KTM seemed to be the way to go for enduro bikes and it has worked out really good. With KTM, it’s a lot easier going over seas too – you just pack and go and…” “Right which way now?” I jumped in when he took a breath, as we had been sitting at a junction for the last 10 minutes. You see, I quickly realised that you have to cut Birchy off pretty quick, otherwise he seems to go on and on. He pointed to the gnarly track on the left and we moved along.

Euro Experience
Twenty minutes later we took a breather to wait for Rob, and Birchy tells me that two years back, he and girlfriend Monica decided to venture over to Europe and look for some riding opportunities abroad. He found a sponsor in the form of the UK Husqvarna importer, who supplied him a bike to compete in the European Enduro Champs. “It was a really good time. Some really awesome memories that I’ll never forget. Me and the Husky though, it was a bad match. I just couldn’t come to grips with the bike. For some people they are great but it just wasn’t me. The series ventured to places like Poland, Italy, Germany, Israel and Wales. It was pretty budget conscious sort of racing having to drive with a trailer in a borrowed panel van with tyres strapped to the roof to the event. It was much the same as many ‘sponsored’ riders here. A lot of us would get a bike, but have to get there and pay for everything yourself – but the competition was far better and it was a lot more expensive. One enduro I will never forget actually started in the middle of town. Literally smack, bang in the centre – I think they kicked out the councillors from the town hall, and used it as a base and pits. The pre-race practice track was the equivalent of the Auckland domain, and we got to rip it up. I thought it was going to be a lot of road riding down the motorway or something, but within five minutes of the start you were off road. We were going down empty canals through paths, through parks. One bit where they didn’t want us to rip the park up – they fenced the entire footpath and we all raced down it, wiggling down the concrete. The thing is, in European countries, the difference is that motorcycling is liked, and that helps heaps. The Italian Enduro was on actual walking trails. They love motorcycles and are happy to have them around the place. Unfortunately we don’t have that same level of support here in NZ, which is a shame really.” I quickly pointed to a tree and said the leaf lovers name for that tree was Pinus Radiatus. Again, you gotta cut Birchy off – he looked at me all confused long enough for me to point to a track and say, “Let’s go that way”.

The ‘hot line’ Master
Upon Birchy’s return to Aotearoa, he was straight back on a KTM and back to his winning ways. So what makes him so good? I thought the best way to find out would be to ask. “So, from one Chris to another, what makes you so much faster than the average good rider? Is it the fact that you are the ‘hot line’ master like people say?” “Well I guess that depends on what you call a ‘hot line’ doesn’t it. I think I do take better lines than a lot of people. For instance, in the first test at the Gwavas Enduro, up the really long, wide, muddy, almost gravely road. When I went through there the second time, I rode in the same place and there was only one mark. Only my wheel marks from the previous lap. I just have a different riding style and I have that extra bit of speed. What that means is I don’t have to push 110 percent, which means I don’t crash as much and I can get consistent results.”
To give you an idea of how much faster Birchy is, the gap between him and the average quick guy is about 20-30 seconds per test. But to put that into perspective I ask him about his speed overseas. “The reality of it is, the difference between me and the top guys overseas is about 20-30 seconds. They take the big risks, while still having style and finesse. They hit the big crazy line with style and finesse. Being over there and racing against those guys at that level every weekend makes you realise that you can only get so far having to work 9-5.”

Red Bell Romaniac
After a super-rocky, hard, slippery section coming down the Neavesville, I wondered, in comparison, what the Romainiacs was like. For those of you who have been on another planet these last few months, Birchy got third at the 2007 Red Bull Romaniacs. It wasn’t all cream doughnuts and Pepsi colas though, as he hadn’t really heard much of the actual event. A dude in his motorcycle club knew a guy who knew a guy who once T-Boned a guy who once rode the event; said how much he’d like it. Nothing more was really said on the subject until after the ISDE here in NZ. “What really triggered me was on day five of the ISDE, we had to slog through this hard shitty riding – I busted my arse off all day and in the end they threw it all out. I felt like I’d done something here that a lot of people haven’t done, with no reward for it. So I thought I would ride in an event that is meant to be hard, there is stuff that you can’t get through, and those that do get rewarded for it.” Birchy just entered and thought he would work the rest out later. The plan was to get a big bank loan first, but it came together in the end. Red Bull and Victor Electricial came on board and dug into their pockets. KTM NZ sorted him out a bike over there where as Chris explains, he hit the jackpot with. “We were really spoiled by KTM, we kinda got the jackpot there. It was a factory ride pretty much. I thought we were gonna just get a bike and be told to go over in the corner – it’s pretty cool being under the Red Bull/KTM tent.” Team Waimauku had to be conscious about stepping up the professionalism. Brenton May went along to be Birchy’s mechanic an was fair stressing about doing something wrong. “It was really surreal - Cyril Despres, Multi-Daka winner was on one side, Michel Gau, who has won the Romaniacs twice already was on the other side. It was a bizarre experience to start with, then you realise they are normal, cool people that get to have a good time doing their job.”
But god, what a job they have. Described as going for a really technical, good, day-long trial ride, but with some really horrific stuff thrown in too, the Red Bull Romaniacs draws a lot of big players and even sends some home in little bits. “I rate myself on downhills, there is pretty much nothing I won’t ride down. So I’m coming down the steepest downhill in my life ever, hitting stuff, throwing it sideways, bouncing off bushes, hitting things to scrub off speed. Totally four-fingered full braking. Then there was a sign that said ‘Caution – Steep Downhill Ahead!’ I ditched it, slid to a stop and had to edge the bike down the hill. There was also this boulder field that went on forever. Then we were up a mountain on day five, where there was no real trail, right up above the snow line. Every time the bike boiled, I’d empty all my camel back water in and then five minutes later, I’d boil again and push it all back out. Some of it is really tough, but that’s just one side. Some of the trails take you across the tops of mountain ridges and through deep valleys and it’s just really cool riding. The horrible stuff you see on TV is where spectators can get to. The really horrible stuff is out in the middle of nowhere, where no one can hear you cry!”

Last Man Standing
As we wait at the top of another nasty, nasty section heading up the Neavesville, I was thinking of our Auckland mate Rob, who must have been crying down the bottom as I’m not sure Birchy gave him the full story of the Neavesville. As we talk more about overseas exploits he explains he was not expecting to do to well in Romania and after GPS difficulties on day one, winning day two made the plan change considerably. The overall pace was picked up and he started taking semi-calculated risks instead of looking just to finish. “To win day two – I just thought it was a joke to be honest. Then of course the game plan changed after that. I thought, hold on, actually this is a bit of reality here, I have a chance of doing pretty well.” Continuing that momentum from the Romaniacs, he has entered the Red Bull Last Man Standing in Texas. “The riding at the Last Man Standing is even harder that in Romania. Sure there is much less of it, but the final leg is run in the dark and the difficulty level is quite a few notches higher.” Looking for another good result, Birchy did a quick Google and found last year’s fifth place getter Kyle Redman was a guy he beat at the Romaniacs. “I was riding fast past Kyle, going up hills he couldn’t get up, so I think I can kinda be up there if all goes well.” Victor Electrical is again helping Birchy, this time with the lighting needed for the night race, which is the important part of the race. His situation has been made a lot easier after coming third at the Romaniacs. When Paul Ottaway rings up for a bike for Birchy, they know who its for, they know he’s not an idiot and there is a good chance of getting a half decent result. “Red Bull are right into it – every event I want to do is a Red Bull event, so it works out well there. I hope to build a good relationship over the years with any luck.” With only four or five extreme events a year it’s hard to make a career out of it. At the moment, Birchy wants to get himself into a position where he can do the events, and still work out of NZ - that’s his goal. As for future plans – next year Birchy looks to hit up the Romaniacs again followed by the Erzberg Rodeo. “I plan on tripping to Europe as the two events are two weeks apart. Take a month or so off to do them properly. But I haven’t told my new employer yet, that’s the plan anyway.”

Pedal Powered Bush Bike
We push on for another half an hour till we reach a skid site. With a bundle of logs all over the place. “That’s perfect for a bit of bike Trials” he says, pointing in that direction. One thing you may not realise is Birchy’s exploits on a bike of a different kind. One that you push yourself. “I was quite into my mountain biking for a while there. I have won the New Zealand mountain bike Trials three times now. It’s fun bouncing around the place on it and I’ve done a fair bit of downhill racing too.” While riding a hard-tail bike (the equivalent of a twin shocker MX bike) Birchy managed to make it into the top 20 at the national downhill mountain bike rounds, against full suspension bikes. “I run usually about the top 2-3 in expert class races, doing similar times on the hard tail to those on full suspension. It’s far easier on a full suspension machine and when I finally bought a proper downhill full suspension bike, I stopped riding down hill. It really helps doing the mountain bike Trials as it’s excellent cross training and helps with good balance. While downhill teaches line selection and how to flow through the trail properly. Shows you different ways of approaching a trail, smooth lines, keeping up corner speed, and gets you away from that point and shoot thing you can get into on a motorcycle.”

It’s now getting on in the afternoon, and I wonder if my approximate time of “I’ll be home mid-afternoon honey,” would end up being utter bull-puckie. Like many of us, Birchy’s other love is a two legged, high pitched, cooking machine, now more commonly known as Monica Birch. Having been dating for the last five years, Monica meet Chris just before his first overall national enduro title. “She won’t watch, doesn’t like watching but is very, very supportive. She pretty much lets me do whatever I need to do, completely guilt-free – and is one hell of a cook. I made it pretty clear from day one what life was going to be like, and she is still sticking around so that’s all good. I got her a poodle called Sprocket, just too keep her company while I’m out on the trail.”

It’s about now that I am quite wet from paddling and sweating up this long rutted hill, after our ‘wrong turn’, thanks Birchy. “So is this training or what aye!” I squeak out. Birchy suddenly takes a mean tangent and talks about our enduros here in NZ, the Rut 100 and what he thinks needs a bit of tweaking to get our enduro series cookin’. “We need to get more events like the Rut 100 and the up coming Riverhead 100. Enduros are a little bit soft in my opinion. We have a really good fun series but there are a few changes I would like. Going to real time like the rest of the world is one major change I’d like to see. Enduros here are way too easy, compared to the UK. They are heaps harder, longer, have more difficult terrain, tighter times – ours are a sprint - walk in the park. I think people need to realise that. Is that going to kill our sport? Hard to say – that could be the only down side. Perhaps have the expert class with the expert sections a lot harder so you actually have to be an expert to get through, and it is really tough. Then we can still cater for the intermediates who want to get out and have a go. It’s a catch 22 situation I guess. For training purposes for me, it’s good we have the Rut 100 and Riverhead 100 and there is talk of another similar event in Wellington. Proper tough events – it’s going to be brilliant for me and exactly what I want to be doing if I want to keep at the overseas events.”

Four and half hours later I hit reserve and we arrive back at the vans. I park up and open the van. I’m comfortably shagged and feverishly searching for my inhaler, Rob’s now got his helmet off and is keeled over in the foetal position, and Birchy is putting gas in his 300. More power to you son, more power to you.


Chris’s Sponsors he would like to acknowledge – HJC Helmets, Progrip goggles, Acerbis, Sidi Boots, KTM, Motorex, Red Bull, Victor Electrical, DID chains, JT sprockets.